Let me begin by apologizing in advance for even reminding you of the
existence of one Dick Cheney, let alone expecting you to read a
yet-to-be-determined number of words regarding such. If you’re smart
enough to avoid corporate media – I clearly am not – you have not had
the misfortune of seeing the increasingly lifeless form of the
mastermind (for want of a better word) of the Bush administration’s
policy of starting illegal wars, torturing detainees and outing CIA
operatives, among countless other dirty deeds, on his current book tour.
Mr. Death is touting his memoir – I Was Right and I Can Have You
Killed, or whatever it’s called, in his attempt to revise history,
congratulate himself on a job well done and continue to scare the shit
out of small children and animals accidentally exposed to the TV screen
at an inopportune moment.
Cheney, rather than mellowing with
age and rusting parts, is taking the time he has left to double down on
his heinous tenure as part of the executive and/or legislative branch
depending on who’s asking. Showing the polar opposite of regret for any
of the actions for which the entire nation bears not only regret but
abject disgrace, Cheney waxed nostalgic for the good old days when
waterboarding produced all that great intelligence. It still pains this
writer to hear the word intelligence used in any context having to do
with the Cheney/Bush regime.
Mr. (and I use the term loosely) Cheney expressed not one shred of
remorse for vigorously ignoring overwhelming intelligence pointing to
what turned out to be the September 11, 2001 attacks. “
I know we could
have anticipated those attacks,” wheezed the withering ex-VP, “
To paraphrase Dick in print......."
Hell,
almost everyone else in the entire world, including our own intelligence
community saw this coming. A few sources even handed me exact
addresses, but I had other fish to fry, so I relied on my own private
intelligence agency. And 9/11 turned out to be one of the best things
that happened during those years – and not just for Rudy Giulliani or
Little George’s poll numbers. We were able to ram through the otherwise
Constitution-dismembering PATRIOT Act, which just happened to be
sitting on my desk, start – well not start but expose to the public – an
extensive illegal wiretapping program and all kinds of other
democracy-squashing agendas I’ve been drooling over for decades. You
can’t expect a patriot like me to pass up a deal like that. Even that
Marxist, socialist Kenyan Obama is carrying on with most of what I put
in place. It’s only because of my hard work he managed to kill bin
Laden. Go f**k yourself.”
The heartless, soulless Cheney most recently made it clear that he felt
he was owed an apology from Barack Obama. "They criticized us for
'overreacting' to the events of 9/11. Now they clearly had moved in the
direction of taking robust action.... I think the president owes
everybody an apology, frankly."* (*actual quote…seriously.)
It’s not that hard to understand that one of the most shameful
characters in American history might expect an actually elected
president to apologize for standing against war crimes Cheney oversaw if
not in fact undertook personally.
After all, this Great American Dick
managed to get an apology from the man he shot in the face. So pardon
me while I go f**K myself.