Saturday, January 22, 2011

Sarah Palin – Evil genius or Evil moron?

Another guest post by Steve Gallop

As we begin the 2012 presidential campaign we know who one of the combatants will be. In this corner we have our current non-undisputed title holder and first non-all-white-male president Baraaaaack Obaaaaama. In the opposing corner, who will dare face The Clandestine Champion of Corporate Criminality in the Ring of Public Opinion, Mudslinging and Veiled Threats?

Many all-white-males are known pursuers of the post, none having officially announced his intentions. And even if you’ve been living in a cave for the past few years, even if you’ve been in a self-induced coma, you also know of one media personality and ex-half-term governor of a barely contiguous state of the Union, who though whiter-than-white is not male, whose supernatural powers of vision can see what others only dream of, but lacks the intellectual capacity to decipher the printed word unless scribbled on her own palm, who magically abandoned her elected position only half-way through her first term without quitting…Sarrrrrrah Paaaaalin. Nobody can tell for sure at this early date: Is she running for president or just at-the-mouth?

Sarah Palin – Evil genius or Evil moron?

Never one to shy away from words used being ordered in ways familiar not to people who are there the most of, the ever peppy Palin provides such gems as, "I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism. And I have a communications degree." Yes, a degree, which is of course that to which a matter of it is what it is. Does she have it all just right or completely “back-assward?” (She actually used this phrase and has yet to explain or refudiate said usage.)

Palin’s most recent moment in the lamelight came as a result of her having “targeted” members of Congress for electoral “elimination,” including now critically wounded congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, gunned down by some lunatic who may or may not have Palin posters all over his walls. Giffords was one member of congress whose district was marked by crosshairs on the now infamous map on Palin’s website prior to the 2010 elections. No one yet knows whether Palin’s violent rhetoric, using phrases like “Don’t retreat…RELOAD,” in any way triggered the seemingly unstable alleged killer. Just don’t be fooled by Palin’s current claims that what she herself tweeted last November were “bull's-eyes” were in fact innocent surveyor symbols.

In response to claims that her rhetoric could in fact inspire crazy people to shoot political figures, the half-baked ex-governor had this to say, “We know violence isn’t the answer. When we take up our arms we’re talking about our vote.” Yeah, just like she supports voting against Alaskan wolves from helicopters.

I’m not saying that Palin is a vicious person or even a cold-blooded killer; I have no way of knowing that for sure and would never deliberately make such an accusation. I think she’s probably more like Steinbeck’s Lenny from Of Mice And Men, who sadly didn’t know his own strength to sorrowful results. To Sarah Palin the world is just one cuddly, furry little creature that she longs to fondle while longing to hear about the rabbits.

Sarah recently showed off her foreign policy chops, tossing out, "But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies." She is clearly ready to lead, if not to read. The question is: Does anyone have the guts to follow. Are we as a nation lemming enough to put her at the head of the pack? Only time will tell.

Surreal Sarah may have finally killed her chances to target higher office though it’s clear she cares too much for herself to simply let her political life end here. She just keeps shooting herself in the foot and this time she may have done it while her foot was in her mouth. It seems to me that when you’re just too stupid for words, you probably should learn to keep your mouth shut. You betcha. Given half a third chance Sarah Palin will have our nation’s collective IQ dancing on the head of a pin.

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